Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
