come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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