did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
