I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
