Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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