I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
