I must be too annoying 4 u.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
