If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
