I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My bed smells like the plague
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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