Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
