I showed him my bush... on skype.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
