she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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