I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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