You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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