At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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