im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
