It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
