i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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