Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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