he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
