If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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