New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
