Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
