I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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