Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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