i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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