Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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