when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
