Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
