waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
