Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
