His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And then my night got REAL pukey
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
