So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
this hospital has no fireball
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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