Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
