if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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