office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Small penises have feelings too.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
