Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it hurts more in the daytime
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This baby is an asshole
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
