I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
