Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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