come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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