it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize