Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
