Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
