if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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