:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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