just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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