Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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