Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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