I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
do herpes really smell.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
be right there i have to get my cape
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
