Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
