420 ftw
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
