I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
