Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
