it wasn't lemon gatorade
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
