I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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