Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
