She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
