she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
